We'll never have to wonder if we missed out on each other

I know that this is strange & new
I'm like a girl that's just like you
So just calm down & don't resist
I can't be soft enough to kiss.
Yeah i'm precious
Yeah i'm cute
Just pat my head & keep on moving
Going home, you won't miss me
I don't care shut up & kiss me

As you know by now I took off yesterday. Yes I am the girl who left the nicest person on earth. I was just sitting there at Ren's going over and over in my head on how this was right and wrong and I'll be ok but I just couldn't grasp it. Then Siobhan talking about me being part of the guard? Wait I didn't sign up for that! Then he called me a Volturi and I just lost it. What? Yes I lost it, Mary lost her poor little mind and exploded. In a split second I knew I didn't want to spend my life living a lie and if I didn't run now I would hurt him more. He could get over me it had been a week I didn't make that much of an impact. I stopped at the house and left him what was his and grabbed my violin and a change of clothes. I left a note and told him he'd always have my heart. He would always be it's keeper and told him I was sorry. I left him my armband (I've worn that everyday for 200 years) and the ring.

So I ran... I ran 600 miles away and when I stopped I let it all out and told mother nature everything. Then I sobbed tearless sobs because it took 3 seconds to realize I had made the hardest decision of an eterenity. Who was I to judge love? Love is stupid and he was stupid for loving a girl he thought he could fix and I'm stupid for not being tamed and loving a boy who was everything I should stay away from. He's too good for me. I text messaged Renata and asked how he was doing. She told he wasn't alright and he wasn't talking to anyone. I needed to see him for myself I needed to see if he was ok so I ran back. I climbed my favorite tree outside of our home and watched him through those big windows. I wanted to steal his pain and stop his suffering. Renata asked me why. Like I could tell her and make her understand! She told me he deserved an explanation from me. Right like I was going to walk right in there and be like "Hunny I'm home" what a crock! I went for a walk in Volterra and long behold Ren and Siv find me and bring me back. Corin and I had been subtely talking at this point, since I'm emotionally handicapped I started to send him music and he sent me some right back. We were communicating quite well when Ren showed up.

We talked and we screamed at each other and we argued and we talked. In the end he was right it all came down to he loves me and if it wasn't enough for me to stay then I should leave. At that exact moment I just decided to give up. What's the point in trying to run from him? I'm not spending an eternity in a tree! So we're not engaged *shudder* and we're working it out slowly because when it comes down to it in the end all we want is each other no matter how stupid we are. I promise I won't run again unless he asks me to.